New Moon with Carlisle
by luvsjohnnydepp
Summary: Carlisle is the one who comes back to Forks, not Alice. I know its been done a million times, but please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**I wrote this a little while ago just for fun, never inteded to put it up.**

**If I had my way, Bella would end up with Carlisle because I think he's a better and safer choice for her than Edward.**

**I'm partway through Chapter 2, but it might not be up for a few days until I get it just right.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of stephenie meyer's stuff**

Love, life, meaning. Over.

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even for me.

I woke up on time every day. I went to school, did my homework. In between I ate and slept and showered, all in a dreamlike state. Except that this was more of a nightmare. I would wake up every night screaming into my pillow, remembering _him_. The first few times Charlie came in to see what was wrong, but eventually he learned to pretend not to hear, knowing there was nothing he could do. The nightmare seemed to last forever. It was a dangerous path I had to walk; I wouldn't allow myself to forget, but I also couldn't bear to think about _him_ without feeling as though my chest was being ripped in two. I distanced myself from my friends at school, and eventually they stopped calling. Even Charlie noticed how lifeless I seemed.

And then, everything changed one day, a few months after _he_ had gone. I was trudging through sleet on my way home (the truck had finally broken down, and I wasn't on speaking terms with Jake). I froze when I saw the sleek black Mercedes parked on the front drive in front of our house. My heart sped up; I was the furthest thing from an autophile, yet I could tell you almost anything about that particular car. The windows were tinted so dark that from inside, it looked like twilight even at noon on the brightest day. The interior was black leather, and the speedometer went much higher than could ever (legally) be used. No one in Forks drove a car like this, and yet….

My legs took on a life of their own as I half sprinted to the door and fumbled with my key in the lock. The door banged against the wall as I dashed into the living room, chanting the words, _It can't be him, he can't be here _in my eyes scanned the room and locked on the perfect god sitting on the couch. His golden hair gleamed, and he was more breathtakingly beautiful than I remembered. He wasn't the person I had dared to hope would be here, but I was in shock none the less. He smiled, flashing perfect white teeth, and stood to greet me. Which is when I broke down completely and flung myself into his arms. I'd forgotten how _hard_ they were; it was like running into a cement wall. "Carlisle I c-c-can't believe you're h-here!" I sobbed into his shoulder.

"Bella? Are you alright?" There was a strange mingling of relief and confusion in his perfect voice. His arms wrapped around me comfortingly.

"I'm s-sorry," I sniffed. "I'm just so happy to see you!" His scent overwhelmed me-- not floral or spice, citrus or musk; it wasn't like anything else. My memory certainly hadn't done it justice. I tried to remember if _he_ had smelled the same, and promptly broke into fresh sobs. Carlisle pulled me to the couch and sat me in his lap.

"It's okay, Bella, everything's fine," he murmured, giving me a chance to calm down. "By the way, would you care to explain to me how you're alive?" His voice was full of curiosity, but he didn't sound angry.

That brought me up short and stopped the sobs. I realized at once why he was here. I swallowed loudly. "Alice saw me fall."

"No," he disagreed. "She saw you _jump_." I pursed my lips as I tried to think of an explanation that wouldn't make me sound completely crazy. I looked up and saw his piercing onyx eyes watching me. He was thirsty, but centuries of practice enabled him to be perfectly composed. That was when I realized the awkward position I was currently in… seated on his lap. I blushed three different shades of red and scooted quickly beside him. He too looked away, embarrassed, and cleared his throat. "Am I to believe that you were trying to end your life then Bella?" he asked. I shook my head quickly and decided the truth would be best.

"I saw Jacob and some of his friends cliff diving and I, um, thought it would be fun to try," I finished lamely. I could tell he didn't buy it.

"And did the fact that it was nearly a hurricane outside never enter your mind?" He was definitely angry now. I dared a glance at his face, which looked pained, not angry. He held my gaze. "Do you know how worried I was Bella?" he whispered. I was, to say the least, surprised. I knew he cared about me, but the way he specifically said he was worried, not _they_ as in the family, threw me.

"Why should you be worried?" I wondered aloud. I could tell by his face that he thought he had revealed too much, but he composed himself quickly.

"We are your family, Bella," he said simply. "Would you mind telling me how exactly you escaped alive? The most I hoped for by coming here was to perhaps comfort Charlie somehow, and then you show up." He shook his head in confusion.

"My friend, Jacob Black, saved me. He is…stronger than the average person," I said, uncertain whether I should keep his secret. Carlisle's expression cleared.

"Ahh, I see," he murmured. "Jacob is one of the werewolves I presume?" For the third time that day, I was shocked. I gaped at him and he chuckled. The sound caused pain to rip through my torso; it sounded so much like _him_. I curled my arms protectively around my chest.

"How did you know?" I asked, and then yawned hugely. Near death experiences took a lot out of me.

"I was the one who helped write the treaty over a century ago," he explained, and then noticed how I was nearly asleep. "Time for you to rest. I daresay you've had a long day," he said, and was off the couch and lying me down with inhuman speed. He covered me with an afghan. I began to panic. I struggled to sit up and grabbed his sleeve. "Don't go Carlisle," I begged. "Please don't leave me." His eyes were soft.

"Don't worry, Isabella. I'm not going anywhere as long as you need me," he assured me.

"Will you stay here?" I begged. "Please? I'm sure Charlie wouldn't mind. For just a little while?" My voice broke.

"If you would like. I will have to hunt now, but I promise not to be gone more than an hour," he said.

"Thanks Carlisle," I mumbled and closed my eyes. I heard him sigh.

"He should never have left you," he murmured. I felt his sweet breath on my face and his lips pressed gently to my forehead.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

For the first time since he – _Edward_ – had gone, my dreams were peaceful. Or at least, I didn't wake up screaming.

Now there was a new face in my dream; a face with golden hair, softer features but the same beautiful alabaster skin. A smiling, trusting face with eyes like two pools of gold. And even in my dreams I felt… confused. That realization was what woke me up.

I was stiff from sleeping on the couch, and bruises from my cliff diving fiasco seemed to have appeared overnight. I sat up and stretched, and that was when I realized I was not alone. My heart rate skipped along much faster than it had any right to, and I felt myself blush when I realized he was staring at me. He was wearing different clothes from the ones he'd been in last night, I suppose so that no one would think anything strange, if they even noticed at all. He smiled when he saw my blush, and I swear I heard him say, "I've missed that", under his breath. But of course, I couldn't be sure, what with my insensitive human ears and all.

"Morning, Carlisle", I said brightly, and walked over to the kitchen where, from the delicious smells coming from the stove, he had been making an omelette. Standing this close to him I noticed details I never had before. He was taller then me, but not quite as tall as Edward had been. His face was still angular, but the angles were softened on his face, more subtle. My breath caught when I breathed him in, and I forced myself to take a small step back. I looked into his eyes, and saw him staring directly back. He smiled gently and raised one eyebrow. "Hungry?" he asked.

I suddenly became very aware of the fact that I hadn't had a shower since two mornings ago, and my hair was probably a mess of tangles.

"Um, could I have a minute first to, uh, freshen up?" He grinned. "Of, course. Take as long as you need."

And with that I darted out of the kitchen and into the bathroom. I turned the hot water up high and relaxed into the warmth. My hands trembled as I opened the shampoo bottle. _What was wrong with me?! _How could I possibly be falling for him? It was stupid and too soon and most importantly, he loved Esme! I sighed. It was a phase; just a phase and I would get over him. I didn't_ really_ love him; that was impossible. Because if I loved him, wouldn't I have realized it the first time we'd met? That thought calmed me for a minute, until I remembered that I'd positively hated Edward for the first few months I'd known him. My heart sank like a stone. I didn't know what to do, but I did know that I couldn't hide in the shower all day. The hot water would run out, for one thing.

I dried off quickly and combed most of the tangles out of my stubborn hair. I even used the hair dryer because, as much as I hated to admit it, I wanted to look nice today. I dressed in dark blue jeans and a soft, flowing white shirt. I even put on mascara. Unable to put it off any longer, I walked slowly down the stairs and took a deep breath that was supposed to feeling calming. And I turned the corner into the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

**I spent a lot of time trying to make this one good, so please review to let me know how I can make it even better.**

**Disclaimer: don't own anything of Stephenie Meyer's**

He was gone. The kitchen was empty, and the omelet was still sizzling, now burning, in the frying pan. I reached over and switched off the oven. And then I started to panic. My voice was higher than usual as I said "Carlisle?" into the empty room. I knew he would be able to hear me, but there was no response. Something had to be very wrong for him to leave. Why had he gone? Unless… unless he suspected my feelings? But it seemed completely unlike him to just leave without any explanation at all. My gaze fell upon the living room table, where there was a torn scrap of paper. I breathed a sigh of temporary relief. Of course he would leave a note. I snatched it up fast and saw a short paragraph of flawless calligraphy, similar to Edward's.

_Bella,_

_Alice had a vision. Edward was very near Forks and heard that I was coming here to attend the funeral, and thought you had died. He never planned to be without you for long. We might be able to stop him if we hurry. I would take you with us but_ (here something was scratched out). _I should be back later tonight. Please don't worry, and stay in the house._

_Love,_

_Carlisle_

_P.S._

_I promise we will bring him back safe._

No. Oh please, please, no. Tears ran down my face and dripped onto the letter, smearing the ink. My sobs were much too loud in the empty room. The hole that I thought was healed cracked open, and every bad thing, every last pain and hurt came ripping through me. I dropped to my knees clutching my stomach, and I forced myself to think. I re read the letter, though my tears blurred the words so much that I could hardly read it. I figured I knew what the scratched out part was. He had written, "but you would only slow us down," and then decided that seemed too harsh. I forgave him. It was probably true anyway.

After what seemed like a very long time, I stood up and took several shaky breaths. I stuffed the letter in my back pocket and shoved my feet into winter boots. I couldn't bear to be in the house any longer.

It was nearing sunset when I stepped outside, evidence that I'd been on the ground much longer than I'd thought. But the thing that really captured my attention was that it was doing something it rarely did in Forks. It was _snowing_. Large flakes drifting downward slow enough that I could almost walk between them. I made my way into the forest. It looked very beautiful with snowflakes slipping through the nearly impenetrable green canopy. I picked my way over tree roots and rocks, being careful not to slip. It was chillier than I'd expected and I wished I'd thought to bring a coat. I walked until I came to an opening through which I heard the roar of the ocean. The dark water was violent, crashing like thunder against the rocks hundreds of feet below. I stood near the edge watching it slam itself time after time against the shore. There would be no cliff diving today, I thought wryly.

I sat down on a rock and rested my chin on my knees. I clasped my hands together tightly and closed my eyes. I didn't know if there was a god, or if he could even hear me. But I prayed anyway. "Please, keep him safe, please bring him back".

Childishly I thought, _He has to be alright. Carlisle promised_. I knew I'd go on with my life if… but I couldn't think the "if" yet; the pain was too fresh.

When it started to get dark, I made my way home. It wasn't snowing anymore. The magic was gone, and now it was just a cold dreary night. I lay down on the couch, too tired to make my way upstairs. I waited. I wondered where Edward was right now. I wondered how he planned on doing the horrible thing that could not happen. I wondered if he missed me.

My thoughts were incoherent as I drifted in and out of consciousness, and after a while I slept. But my dreams were filled with monsters that loomed out of the darkest parts of the forest, of shadows with glinting red eyes that tried to lure me away. I tried to tell them I was not afraid, but they would not listen. They knew I was terribly afraid, though not of them. I was afraid of losing the one person my life was not worth living without.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm not sure how the story will go after this chapter... suggestions welcome!**

**Disclaimer: don't own anything of SM**

* * *

My eyes snapped open at the sound of someone in the room. In a split second, the figure was across the room, kneeling right beside the couch where I lay. All the memories of the past hours came flooding back, and I was so relieved because he was here, really here; safe and sound next to me. I threw my arms around his neck and breathed, "Edward!"

But the answering voice was wrong, not his at all.

"Bella, love, I need you to hear this," Carlisle's sorrow filled voice answered. I drew myself away from him and saw that his expression was pained.

"Where is he? He's coming here soon, isn't he?" My voice trembled through the torrent of words.

I'm sure that, if such a thing had been possible, Carlisle would have been crying. I felt hot tears sliding down my own cheeks when he didn't answer. "Please, Carlisle…" I whispered.

"I… we were too late, Bella. I'm so sorry," he whispered. When he saw I wasn't yet capable of saying anything, he gathered my hands in his cold ones and went on with his story. "We tracked his scent to a remote town near the border. In the forest we found a small coven, two males. When Edward found them a few hours before us, he asked them to…" here Carlisle's voice shook, as he omitted what I couldn't bear to hear. "They only believed they were doing him a favour, Bella," Carlisle pleaded with me. "They had no hatred against him." He took an unnecessary deep breath, and turned his golden eyes directly on me. "Please, forgive me."

The realization was too much for me, and the tears coursed down my cheeks faster. I didn't care that he had left me; I would never see him again… it really would be like he never existed. The sobs that escaped my throat were muffled somewhat as Carlisle pulled me comfortingly against his stone chest. After a few moments he pulled back a little, just as my sobs began to subside. He cool fingers stroked my hair away from my face and carefully wiped away the tears.

"He never deserved you, Bella," he whispered softly. "He never could have cared for you enough, to hurt you the way he did. Of _course_ I never wanted something like this to happen to him but..." Carlisle's voice trailed off, and I found myself aware of just how close we were. "I would never hurt you, Bella," he whispered. I met his gaze; his eyes were very soft, his golden hair shone even in the dim light. He looked like a god carved from stone; an angel sent down to consol me.

Slowly he leaned forward, inhaling my scent. "Beautiful," he murmured against my skin. And then he kissed me, gently pressing his lips to mine. I knew that I should pull away, but I was past resisting now, and I gave in to his kiss. My breathing hitched as he kissed me more deeply than Edward ever had. But of course, he didn't need to be careful because… but I couldn't remember with him kissing me like this. I needed to think, I couldn't do this now, even as his hands pulled me closer.

I pulled away as gently as I could. He released my instantly, looking ashamed. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking," he faltered.

I looked at him, and realized with horror what I had just done. "You and Esme! Carlisle I'm sorry… I forgot, I…!" I rambled on, unable to stop. How could I have done this?

"Shh, Bella," he said. "It's alright. Esme and I are not together anymore." He said the words without too much regret. It didn't matter, I still felt like a horrible person.

"Did Alice see what we, um, that we kissed?" I asked nervously. He didn't answer right away, his expression troubled.

"Not exactly. She saw that my love for you was – is – a great deal deeper and more pure than my love for Esme." My eyes widened on the word love. I was too stunned to speak, and he went on. "Of course, we will always be friends, but even she could sense than our relationship wasn't nearly as strong as it used to be," he said ruefully, and then saw my startled face. "It's an awful feeling to wake up one day and realize that the person you thought you loved, has been the wrong one all along," he said quietly.

I finally found my voice. "You… you love me?" I whispered.

He gave me a small smile. "With all my heart and soul, since you seem so sure that we have one," he said. There was a long pause while I gathered my bearings. I took a deep breath.

"I'm just not ready yet, Carlisle," I said. I hated to see him upset, but what could I say? The one man I thought I would love forever was not on this earth anymore. Carlisle only nodded. "I completely understand, Bella," he whispered. "Take your time, but right now you need rest." He helped me stumble up the stairs to my room. I fell into bed at once, hardly able to keep my eyes open. I saw him turn to go, and called out to him. "Carlisle?" He turned around. I had one last question that needed answering. "Yes, Bella?"

"What did he… I mean, do you know what his last words were?" I asked. There was a long pause and then, very quietly, "He said your name."


End file.
